I cant find my old vods and I did not delete them

It is likely they’ve simply expired. As the help documentation explains, VoDs are only saved for 60 days for Twitch Partners and Amazon Prime members, and 14 days for all other users https://help.twitch.tv/s/article/video-on-demand

Unless you actually go to a VoD and save a highlight from it, it will just expire and after the time above.